Friday, June 30, 2006

Fact Ten

Factosis Level: High - Additional warning: this post contains a particularly poor and smutty joke

Whilst he was in prison, the US Government struck a deal with renowned mafia boss 'Lucky' Luciano (the man who had formed the National Crime Syndicate) to use his mafia connection to assist in the WW2 war effort.

Luciano provided Mafia assistance to counter possible Axis infiltration on U.S. waterfronts, and his connections in Italy and Sicily were used to obtain intelligence and ensure an easy passage for U.S. forces as they moved up through the Italian peninsula. Both during and after the war, the U.S. military and intelligence agencies reputedly also used Luciano's Mafia connections to root out communist infiltrators in Government departments.

It is rumoured that in return for his services, Luciano continued to run his crime syndicate in prison without interference. He was later parolled for his help but forced to return to Italy.

*** I got 64 & 65% for my assessments which has goes down very nicely indeed thankyou very much.

Website of the Day: for those of who you want to cement the bonds of a life long relationship. Or alternatively, if your bitch has run off with another pussy you can divorce them as well.

Monday, June 26, 2006


I figured how to add links at last.

Hurrah !!!!!!

Me and Ron are going out to celebrate.

Oh Dear

I get my results back tomorrow. Having handed in 31,000 words, I'm rather hoping that some of them may produce positive results?

While I resist the urge to wet myself, I thought I'd draw your attention (if there is anybody there...hello?) to some fabulous articles what I wrote.

Writing For E-Commerce - Does exactly what it says on the metaphorical tin

Mark Le Fanu - He's an important person. General Secretary of the Society of Authors no less

And there's also Please Don't Eat Me a poetic sage of cannabalistic parents attempting to devour their children.

I shall try and adds these to my website without ruining the whole thing.

Have I mentioned Yes I think I must of, how could anyone possibly forget

Quote of the Day: "Don't pay any attention to the critics. Don't even ignore them" Samuel Goldwyn.

Or it could've been: "Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day."

Or: "Why did you name him Sam? Every Tom, Dick and Harry is named Sam!"

Bless you Goldwyn, an anecdotists dream...

Friday, June 23, 2006

My Complaints

I've sent this letter to Virgin Trains today. Let's see if they respond and what they've got to say for themselves.

Dear Sir/Madam

To say I was dissatisfied with the service provided, prior to and during my, return journey from Penryn Cornwall to Stone-on-Trent on 10/06/06, and back on the 16/06/06, would be an understatement.

I continually checked your website for discounted tickets for the five weeks prior to taking my journey. On none of these occasions were there any discounted ticket for the 10/06 or on 09/06 or the 08/06. I was therefore forced to purchase the Std Saver for £73.50. That’s almost £20 more than I’ve paid in the past. I was then upset to find this ticket did not even feature a seat reservation. I called up the customer helpline to see if something could be done about this; the last thing I would want on a 7 hour journey is to stand. The advice I was given by the operator was to turn up early to get on the train first. How very helpful. I tried to complain at this point via your website only for my e-mail complaint to be rejected and returned twice.

I followed the train instructions on the ticket arriving in Truro at 11:30 with a forty minute wait until my train to Birmingham at 12:14. Fortunately I checked the departures list before leaving the station. The 12:14 train did not exist. I was able to run over the platform and get a train to Plymouth and change there for Birmingham. Neither of these trains were more than half full so why were there no discount tickets?

Thankfully the journey was smooth from then on. This could not be said of the journey back. Where the 10:49 from Wolverhampton was over an hour late. With no seat reservation I ended up switching seats three times in a carriage with no air conditioning.

I think you would agree that I have not a reasonable level of good service and would expect to compensated for the considerable inconvenience I have suffered.

Yours faithfully

David Paul Nixon.

Quote of the Day: "When an actor comes to me and wants to discuss his character, I say, 'It's in the script.' If he says, But what's my motivation?, I say, 'Your salary.' ~ Alfred Hitchcock

Monday, June 19, 2006

Stoke Glorious Stoke

I’ve been holidaying this week in sunny Stoke-on-Trent, the countries leading county for derelict buildings, call centres and smoke damage.

Two of my friends got married. They also have a kid and house. I myself have debts, a room in a house with a landlord who I would happily pour petrol on if he was on fire, and an uncertain and tough career future.

My life is f****d

In the meantime it’s time to celebrate the launch

Yes that’s right where you can learn all you could possibly need to know about me as a writer.

The site address again? and admire the wonderful wood finish I’ve used as a background.

All this and more at

The phobia of the day is Phagophobia, the fear of being eaten.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Please Take a Moment to Read This Urgent Appeal

"I too didn't used to take that dreaded affliction of Factosis too seriously. It seemed like a ridiculous thing that someone had probably made up to flog some books and newspaper articles. But then it struck the very heart of my own personal life.

My father, whilst surfing the internet, suddenly discovered the fascinating fact that the only member of ZZ-top who didn't have a beard was called Frank Beard.

This sent him into a dangerous spasm. Levels of interest in the brain are sustained by tiny endorphins called Trivians. This nugget of information was so tantalisingly interesting that trivians gathered so quickly around the knowledge centres of his brain, that he fell to the floor and scrambled around like a badger in a cement mixer. And this was a man used to all kind of interesting bits of information, he was an accountant after all.

This could've been avoided. If he had known about the dangers of Factosis then he would still be making sense today. A small donation of £72 .61 a week would pay for someone to have a full frontal lobotomy and stop these tragedies from occuring."

Stay in doors and don't learn anything. And stop to think about the dangers of Factosis"

- that bloke out of steps, not H.
For further information please e-mail

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Fact Nine

Factosis Level: Medium

Martha Mitchell, the wife of US Attorney General John Mitchell, claimed illegal activities were taking place in the White House during the Nixon administration. She was subsequently diagnosed as having delusions as a result of mental illness.

Of course once the Watergate Scandol broke, she was revealed to have been totally correct and totally sane.

This lead to the creation of The Martha Mitchell Effect, where a psychologist accidently believes a patient to be delusional because there claims are unbelievable or held with excessive conviction.

Quote of the Day: "My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden" - Eric Morecambe