Thursday, July 20, 2006

Fact Eleven

It is generally know that John Cleese's character of Basil Fawlty was based on an actual hotelier in Torquay.

The man in question was John Sinclair who amongst many things, once throw a bus timetable at a guest who asked when the next bus was, through Eric Idle's suitcase behind a wall in the garden because it was ticking (Idle had an alarm clock in it) and criticised Terry Gilliam's eating habits for being too American because he was holding a fork in the wrong hand. He also employed, and abused, cheap foreign labour.

It was rumoured that Sinclair had emigrated to Canada to escape being hounded by fans and the press but died in Torquay in 1981, by coincidence Basil Fawlty spoke fondly of emigrating to Torquay should ever escape his wife Sybil. Sinclair supposedly died a bitter man.

Relatives of Mr Sinclair have criticised the his portrayal in the programme but many of those who worked for him have sited many incidents as ludicrous, if not more so, than those shown in the programme. His two daughters who have both said the Cleese's portrayal was accurate, the eldest daughter moved to the United States to escape her parents, who pulled her out of School at the age of twelve to work full time at the hotel.

In other news: Shock - I received a letter, posted to my old address a week after changing with them mind, from the bank saying my, left at the cashpoint, ten pounds had been found and returned to my account.

Less encouraging is the continuing absense of a DrWho boxset from doorway. I have started the complaints procedure against the seller. Apparently I'm covered upto £120 but this may include a £15 charge...

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Initial Stealing Bastards!

Those of you who have known me for a while will know of my master scheme to construct a parcel company, 'Direct Parcel Network', after my own initials DPN.

A company so good I literally put my initials on it.

But only now do I discover some other bloody company has stolen my initials and taken them as their own.

Damn you Digital Peninsula Network!!!

I shall bring them down from the inside by applying for a job as marketing officer there!

The phobia of the day is Paraskavedekatriaphobia - fear of Friday the 13th

Monday, July 10, 2006

First-Greatwestern Admit Fiction Train Concerns

Dear Mr Nixon

Thank you very much for your correspondence concerning your journey between Penryn Cornwall and Stoke-on-Trent on 10 June 2006-07-10

I’m really sorry that the length of your train journey was longer than you expected it to be. Our colleagues at Network Rail have a programme of engineering work in place at the weekend and as a result train timings are generally longer than those in the week. For this reason, and because late notice changes are often needed, we strongly advise customers to check journey times with or with national rail enquiries, before they travel*.

At times of engineering work we are unable to offer discounted tickets and make seat reservations** until Network rails confirm the re-timings of the amended services. Re-timings may not be completed until the day before travel.

Customers who purchase tickets in advance are then sold the normal standard fare, which is what happened in your case.

In view of your experience I would like you to accept the enclosed travel vouchers*** for £19.00****, which you can use over the next twelve months.

We do appreciate your feedback on our level of service and for taking the time to writing to us

Yours sincerely


Customer Relations

*Assumes I have the internet or that the person at National Rail will have a half reasonable grasp of English and dammit if they move or cancel a train why don't they contact me!

**Some people did have reservations. Why not print tickets closer to the day when reservations are available, though this is difficult if your train doesn't exist.

***There's just the one voucher

****How did they arrive at the figure of £19, via the Virgin Trains conpensation calculating dart-board perhaps?

*****Double-barrelled - not to be trusted

Saw Divine Comedy at Somerset House on Thursday, they were wicked as per usual.

Quote of the Day: "Years ago, I saved up a million dollars from acting—a lot of money then—and I spent it all on a horse farm in Tucson. Now when I go down there, I look at the place and I realize my whole acting career adds up to a million dollars worth of horseshit.” - Robert Mitchum

Friday, July 07, 2006

Nobody Knows The Trouble I've Seen

Me unlucky? Or misfortunate? Or just plain stupid?

I don't like to think of myself as a mixture of the three but the facts are there.

Bad/irritating/bloody stupid things that have 'appened to me this last week.

1: Withdrew £10 from a cash machine and walked off without out actually taking the £10 note. Second time this year. I then went to the bank to report it, because there's a chance that it wasn't taken, but the woman on the desk didn't know how to file this report and didn't even know such a report existed. She sent me to the bank with the cashpoint in question to ask if they could check, which I knew was the the wrong thing to do and I was right and came straight back again. The real problem is that no one else in the bank knew how to fill out this report and at one point this woman claimed I hadn't taken any money out of that cashpoint at all until I pointed out to her that she was looking at my records on the wrong day.

I don't think I'm going to get this back.

2: I've just moved (you'll gonna hear more about that) and I've been sending my mail to 26 Vernon Place. Unfortunatly I've moved into number 29. I could've just gone to their house and asked them to pass on any mail. Only that no26 doesn't exist.

I had won the new Doctor Who Series 1 boxset off ebay. Having paid by cheque I had a good chance off stopping it from going to this address. Thankfully I had actually had it sent to the right address. Unfortunatly the seller has just been suspended from ebay for not sending people the things they've bought.

I don't think I'm going to get that boxset. Still though did you see Dr Who last week? Daleks vs the Cybermen! It's like a big fans wet dream*

3: The curse of I-pod struck again and DavepodV fell into a critical condition. Having calmed down I decided to wait till I was in London this week, so I could confront the apple staff with this continueing failure. So I get an appointment, approach the counter, get out the I-pod and what happends? The fucking things suddenly works that's what fucking happens.

But I put on my best (a frequently worn) misery face and bitched a bit and what did I get?

DavepodTNG (the next generation) a black, 60gb, video I-pod. Will it be more reliable, (shouldn't think so), will I just knacker it after two months and never cross over the 4,000 song mark (probably) I've got another years warranty to fuck about with it and know did I will get fucked some more on the way.

* I did not have a wet dream about Dr Who

nor have I ever done so.