Thursday, October 19, 2006

Fact Fourteen

Factosis level: High (a seatbelt is advised)

The name John Doe or Jane Doe, popularly used as place holder name when the identity of an individual (often a corpse) in American, in fact originates from a legal case during the reign of Richard III

There was a legal debate 0ver the Act Of Enablement. The debate involved a hypothetical landowner John Doe and the man he leased his land to, Richard Roe, who then took the land as his own.

These names had no particular significance other than perhaps that a Doe is a female deer and that Roe is another species of deer.

The case would become a landmark in legal history and the names became commonly used as a generic standin for a person unknown.

Quote of the day: At the age of six years I wanted to be a chef. At the age of seven I wanted to be Napoleon. My ambitions have continued to grow at the same rate ever since - Salvidor Dali

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Award Thingy

That student course website that I write for has just been nominated for the guardian media award for best student website.

Well f**k me.

I of course am the person who currently holds the record for most peices submitted to the website in this award nominating year. This will be the platform on which I shall attempt to take all the credit. Not that I imagine that will get me the spare ticket that's floating around for the award ceremony.

I also entered a radio four sketch writing competition this week. The top fifty entrants get a sketch writing workshop. If I'm not in this top 50 I probably ought to finish myself off.

I just want to win something. People around my are winning things and getting jobs and I ain't got s**t. My bastard bald friend Colonel Kian Northcote even won a bloody mountain bike right in front of me the other day.

Winning thesvenhunter blog's caption competition doesn't count. I won a 1p from that!

Monday, October 09, 2006

Chuffing Charity

This book thing I was working on a while ago has arrived in book shops around Cornwall.

It's called 'We Wish' a book to raise money for the NSPCC. It's made up of kids stories (which are very good) from a competition, a great deal of the leg work having being done by myself and some of my colleagues at Falmouth College.

But are we credited for our labours?

The students of University College Falmouth get a credit. But did all of them contribute to the book? Did 4000+ students do something to help this charity. No I don't think they did, I think it was six of us writing students, 4 by the end, and a group of illustration students, who are all individually credited I should point out.

All I wanted was to pick up the book show to someone and say 'Look, there's my name. That's me, I gave my time to working hard on getting this book published. I selflessly gave my time up for it, look that's my name, see how great I am for doing this important work for no personal gain whatsoever to myself, look, that's me.'

Apparently it's selling well and raising lots of money for starving kids or something.

There's going to be christmas single to go with it, featuring local children's choirs: sick bags on standby.

Why do charity songs have to be so agonising. Just donate the cost of the single to the NSPCC rather than suffer.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006


So I'm bed a few days ago, (when I say that I don't wish to suggest I haven't been in bed since I only wish to suggest that these events took place in the past) and enjoying a fantasy role playing dream, when there was a loud knock at the door, interrupting my aggressive discussion with a large mobster lizard.

Being the sensible considerate person that I am I thought f**k it I'm not getting up to answer it. But no one else did either. And they kept knocking.

So I got upto answer it but couldn't find my keys. So I went back to bed where 10 minutes later the knocking came back. Still didn't know where my keys were so I ignored it again.

Then eventually, I got up and had a shower. The girl who lives upstairs and her boyfriend arrived during that time so if this person knocks again they can answer it.

But when I'm back in my room I hear the knocking again. Can't answer it now because I'm not dressed. Obviously the girl upstairs has come on go because no one else is answering it.

The knocking carries on at regular intervals and I don't want to answer it now because they'll know I've been ignoring them. I get ready to leave, but they knock just before I go into the hall. I wait a few moments and then leave.

As I lock the door and leave someone shouts my name. It's the girl upstairs's boyfriend. He's been looking for her and knocking for ages. I say I just came home for my laptop. Is she in? I don't think so, but I'll check. After all I wouldn't be sure if she if I'd only popped back a minute.

So I go upstairs and her doors open. I knock on and hear voices and moving inside. I can see through the crack between the door and the frame.

She's in bed with another man.

She's clothed thankfully, though he has his shirt off. Whosits at the door I say. Don't let him in, she say's.

So I go back down stairs, and even though I've been a conspicously long time I say that she's not there. He reluctantly accepts and walks away.

I go the opposite direction. Which is also the opposite direction I want to be walking in.

If I'd just answered the bloody door in the first place...